A Rainy Braking the Cycle 2008

By Fritz Van Orden

On September 26-28, I rode in "Braking the Cycle," a three-day, 275-mile bike ride to raise funds for the HIV/AIDS services of the LGBT Community Center in New York. We had a touch of weather, which only made it more inspirational.

Most of you have experienced my interminable e-journals of other bike rides I have done. To spare all of us that ordeal this time, I've prepared a short statistical summary.

============================================
Braking the Cycle 2008 - Statistics

Friday:
Total miles: 94.13
Number of hours of rain: 0
Number of hours of what would pass for a slightly misty day in August in Daly City*: 6
Number of miles of dry pavement: 5
Name of bar in Gettysburg motel downstairs from author's room: The Last Full Measure of Devotion.**
Number of Mccain lawn signs observed: 20
Number of Obama lawn signs observed: 5
Number of Ron Paul lawn signs observed: 1
Number of "I'm an Angry Gun Owner and I Vote" lawn signs observed: 1
Times granny gear used: 3 (starting mile 75)
Times I woulda used granny gear if I hadn't had this asinine idea to compile statistics: 6
Times pushed bike up hill: 1 (mile 82)
Number of bikes (out of 175) parked in the holding shed at the destination when the author arrived: 22
Song of the Day***: Twenty-Five Miles To Go

Saturday:
Total miles 108.01
Number of miles of dry pavement: 0
Number of miles of light rain: 30
Number of miles of moderate rain: 5
Number of minutes of heavy rain: 5
Number of times pushed bike up hill: who's counting?
Number of miles cycled through horses-on-the-road country: 40
Number of tantrums engaged in by author of this compilation: 2
Stimulus for above-mentioned tantrums: undisclosed
Number of cyclists that arrived at the destination after the author: 6
Song of the Day: Surfin' USA

Sunday:
Total miles: 88.04
Number of miles ridden through light rain: 20
Number of miles ridden through drenching downpour: 30
Number of times Captain Triste's Patented Surreptitious Roadside
Urination Procedure*** utilized: 1
Number of cyclists that arrived at the destination after the author: 20
Percentage of cyclists sagged: 75
Number of boring speeches listened to on W 13th St. in front of the
LGBT Center at the end of the ride: 7
Time head hit pillow at home: 8:50pm
Song of the Day: Singin' In The Rain

Tour totals:
Total miles: 290.18
Miles ridden wearing gloves: zero
Number of seconds of sunlight: zero
Number of seconds where shadows could almost be discerned: 15
Number of cute guys from last year upon whom the author has a crush: 1
Number of cute new guys upon whom the author has a crush: 1
Number of cute guys with ugly boyfriends: 1
Number of dollars author pledged to donate to the cause if no more donations come in to his account: 640.
Number of cigars perceived by author being smoked by riders or volunteer support: 7
Most endearingly gay aspect of ride: The labelling each rest stop an Oasis.
Number of miles the author was sagged: ZERO

Monday:
Location of gloves throughout ride: on bedroom floor at home right next to where the author packed
Migration history of most painful part of body:
- spot on front of left ankle where cycling-shoe velcro fastener wore the skin off: 2 hours
- left achilles tendon: 5 hours
- left hip: 1 hour (unusual -- usually it's the right hip)
- right hip: 4 hours
- right side of neck/shoulder: (unusual -- usually it's the left side): 1 hour
- left side of neck/shoulder: 5 hours
- quads: 1 hour
- left achilles tendon: 2 hours
- left ankle: 2 hours
- entire left side of body: 2 hours
Hour arrived at work: 7:00am
Number of beers consumed after work: so who's counting?
Song of the Day: Workin in a Coal Mine
Total miles: ZERO

--------
THE POETRY CORNER:
On Cycling in the Rain in Amish Country.
An Unfinished Poem

If the Amish don't drive cars, what do they use to haul stuff around?
What sort of products might these haulers deposit on roads?
What might happen to these products when it rains?
What might happen when a bicycle is ridden in the resulting mixture?

Please feel free to complete.

__________________
* Epicenter of California's Fog Belt
** Actually, untrue. I made it up.
*** cf. "Journal of the Tour de Sonomarin 2008"